mysweetsatine (mysweetsatine) wrote,

im baaaaaaccccckkkkkkk

sooo im back again trying really hard. i lost quite a bit of weight since i started college but im through.
its all snowy, im probably going to the gym in a little bit.
ive been in such a rut lately and i dont know why.
i really miss my boyfriend on the weekends. =\
he gets to go home every weekend to work and im stuck here and havent seen my friends or family since august. sweet.

anyways, i ate alot yesterday when i planned on fasting. if i plan to try and do good, i always fuck it all up.
today i was like, 'ill be a little leanent, but still good' and i ate the biggest breakfast known to mankind. anddd it wasnt even that good.
last night i just ate and ate and ate because i was bored and didnt wanna hang out with my friends down the hall... i made myself throw up in my garbage bag. it was embarressing. all i kept thinking was if people heard me in the hallway, and what if my roommate walked in.
i felt alot better though afterwards.
all the dietpills and caffine pills really arent helping my IBS and other stomach issues.
all day and night my stomach hurts.
i love not having enzymes in my body to digest anything =[ note the sarcasim.
anyways, just wanted to prove im alive.. even if it is just to myself.

GOAL: Lose 10 pounds by christmas,
possible? very.

Personal Rules:
-No eating after 7pm
-Gym every other day, atleast. 3+ hours weekly
-8+ water bottles daily
-No food from Lower Manser unless salad or grilled chicken
-Go to the gym when I had my chem class [ I dropped it ]
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